Question: How do you know if someone is your soul mate? What is the most ideal way to choose a suitable marriage partner? What should one look for in a person in order to have a successful marriage?

Should you look for the beauty, the fair complexion, and then the purse? Should you make sure that he can buy big presents every Christmas or every birthday?  Has a big name, big fame? No. Marriage is performed in the heaven.  You raise yourself to the higher standard. You are not marrying his body, his purse, or his name and fame. You are marrying him or her, the character. You have to look for the character. If the person has good qualities in life that will be a heavenly marriage because all other things will go away. Even the beauty queen loses her crown with a pimple on her face. Money, one day it will get drained away. Power, one day it will go. How many presidents, in the newspaper, “George Bush did this today.” After his presidency, even if he’s dying, no paper will write about him. It’s all temporary. As long as we have the power we’re great. So these are all temporary things. Don’t depend on them.

The character is more important. Choose a partner for the character. That’s why, even when you date, you look for the character of the person. That is permanent. When wealth is lost, nothing is lost. When health is lost you can even regain it. When the character is lost that’s it. That’s why you say, “Oh, he’s a kind of character.” He’s a character by himself or herself. Look for the character: that marriage will last long. Do you have similar interests in life? Apart from the character, similar interests.  If your partner is interested in, for instance, bodybuilding, and you are interested in Yoga, you can’t match.  If you also are interested in bodybuilding, go ahead. Similar thinking is most important. Character first, and then similar interests in life. That will last forever, so find a suitable marriage partner.

Swami Satchidananda

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